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Extra weight a turn-off DEAR DIANE: I am so heartbroken. My husband of six years, "Leon," has not touched me in more than three years. I have tried to initiate lovemaking with him, but he refuses. I admit that I have gained weight since our wedding -- about 75 pounds. I work as a waitress, and when I get home I am too tired to exercise. Leon works in construction and is very fit. We don't have children; I would like to, but Leon won't be romantic with me. Lately, he has been verbally abusive to me, calling me "Porky" and "Tubby McTubbs." Whenever I make myself something to eat, he makes pig noises. Many nights I cry myself to sleep. I told Leon how much his remarks hurt me. He replied, "Why should I respect you when you have no respect for yourself?" I can't believe him! Just because I've put on weight doesn't mean I don't respect myself! I might be heavier, but I am still a beautiful person. How can I teach him to love me as I am? -- I'M BIG BUT STILL BEAUTIFUL
DEAR BIG: Your husband isn't having sex with you because you have become sexually unattractive to him. The solution: Put down the Twinkies and get your fat behind on a Stairmaster. I know that's not what you wanted to hear. Well, tough. If you had just given birth or had children and a household to care for, I could at least see a reason for your being "too tired" to exercise. You are just plain lazy. Sure, Leon is being immature by making piggy noises at you; but he's started doing that only recently. I'm sure he's told you in less-hurtful ways how your weight is a problem, but obviously you refused to listen. So now he's just mad and frustrated. It's time you take charge of your life and take responsibility for yourself. Either you slim down and save your marriage, or within a year I'll bet you that Leon finds someone else.
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