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Hearts are in the right place, but bad timing DEAR DIANE: I work for a small, Internetbased company. There are 11 guys in our office, all between the ages of 24 and 33. We're like a fraternity. Many of us have known each other since high school. One of the crew, "Rufus," recently had both his legs amputated at the knee. He had been living with undiagnosed diabetes for years. News of Rufus's amputation rocked our group. We all took shifts to be with him at the hospital. Once we heard that Rufus was going to be in a wheelchair, we wanted to make Rufus's return to work even more smooth. We wanted to let him know that just because he had a serious physical change,that he was still our brother and nothing has changed -- emotionally and friendship-wise -- for us. So we went out and "pimped" a brand-new wheelchair. We put mag wheels and spinnin' rims on it. We padded the chair with velour to look like a recliner and attached several flat-screen TV panels to it, along with wireless Internet access. Rufus is a big fan of the show "Pimp My Ride," so we thought this pimped-out chair would be a cool "Welcome Back Bro" gift. Boy, were we wrong. When Rufus saw the chair, he freaked out. He thought that somehow we were making fun of his disability. This couldn't be further from the truth. We tried to explain that we were just trying to make his return to work easier and to maybe relieve some of the stress he's been through. Rufus didn't want to listen. He stormed out of the office and hasn't been back to work for nearly a week. Were we wrong? TEN CONFUSED AND CONCERNED GUYS DEAR GUYS: Your hearts were in the right place, but your timing was off. Rufus is still trying to cope with a serious life-and-death event. He hasn't had enough time to catch his breath and gain a little perspective. I would suggest speaking with his doctor about Rufus's condition and how you can help him readjust to his new life. Maybe the doctor can refer you to a support group that you and Rufus can join. In time, Rufus will understand that even though he has diabetes and is now confined to a wheelchair, he is still the same great man you guys love as a brother. Keep the chair handy. Eventually, he'll ask for it. Send letters to Diane c/o King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL32853-6475. Or you may email her at dianeadvice@yahoo.com.
(c) 2006 King Features Synd., Inc.
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