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Ramblin' Roses and Flyin' Bricks
Our government sure does drag around. Back in 1866 General Robert E. Lee asked for a Presidential pardon for the part he took in the little difficulty we had in this country during the 1861-65 period. He was given some sort of pardon, but still couldn't hold any civil or military office and couldn't serve on a jury. I'll bet that jury business never did bother him none, but he might have wanted to serve on the city council or run for road commissioner or something like that. General Lee died October 12, 1870 and this week a resolution was offered in the United States Senate to restore posthumously the full rights of citizenship. The main trouble with any kind of posthumous award is that it sure doesn't do a fellow much good. It's nice for the kinfolks and they can show it around but it comes too late for the guy who won it. General Lee's restoration of full citizenship comes about 87 years too late for him to serve on a school board or get tied up on a jury trying somebody for stealing a cow. After They've Gone There's too much posthumousness going on in this country. We wait until a fellow dies to say nice things about him. We fill the church and cemetery with flowers after he passes on but we never patted him on the back and told him he was doing a good job while he was living. The neighbors all send the family cakes and pies and baked hams posthumously, yet we never gave him a doughnut while he was alive. We need to do more pre-humous things for people. I reckon it was a good thing General Lee didn't get his full rights of citizenship restored during his lifetime. He could have been elected to most any position he announced for and he might have got in some kind of road squabble or school fight and made everybody mad and we might not be celebrating his birthday like we do, which would be bad for bank officials and state employees. When you get right down to it, if General Lee could have got his hands on about two barrels of sow-belly and four more cannons his admirers wouldn't have to be introducing a resolution in the United States Senate to restore his full rights of citizenship. They would have been trying to get General Grant fixed up so it would have been legal for him to have been Probate Judge or Tax Collector. Still a Little Feeling Looking back, it would have been a lot better if the Southern states had not seceded. You can have a lot nicer fight when it's a family affair. A man and his wife can put on a pretty good battle and outsiders had better not join in, and then when it's all over they'll make up and everything is lovely. There are no hard feelings. However, if a man hit his divorced wife with a dining-room chair, she would probably be mad as long as she lived. That's what happened in the War Between the States. Of course, after nearly a hundred years we joke about the thing and laugh when we call 'em Damyankees but lots of people still think they are just that. We've noticed, too, that some of the Northern and Eastern Senators aren't leaning over backwards to say nice things about the South. I'm just wondering how some of 'em are going to vote on the Robert E. Lee question. After all, the NAACP might try to tack on an amendment saying General Lee will become a full-fledged citizen when and if the South abolishes segregation.
Come to think of it, if the General were living today, he might withdraw his application.
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