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Ramblin' Roses and Flyin' Bricks
The set had done everything the ad said it would do. When I first got it I wasn't bright at all, because I paid the dealer $74.20 down and the balance in 23 monthly payments of $12.80 and one payment $12.79, which made a total of $381.39 it cost me. It was one of those $275.00 models with the eyesquinching screens. Figuring out how much interest the finance company charged me was one of the educational benefits I received. I also learned that several of my favorite radio performers were fat and baldheaded. The main thing I learned, though, is that I'm ignorant. Either I had mighty sorry teachers or I didn't apply myself in school as I should. For instance, I don't know that name of Abraham Lincoln's grandmother or the height of the Washington monument. I don't know, just offhand, the capital of New Hampshire or what states the Mississippi River runs through. I couldn't tell you when or where Louis XIV was born, or why either, for that matter. I'm so stupid it's real embarrassing. The Various Categories On one of the popular quiz shows where they give away real big money a contestant picks a category from a wide range of subjects, such as English literature, history, geography, Dickens, baseball, Babe Ruth, Shakespeare, jazz, classical music and countless other things. They don't have a single category that I know enough about to get past the second question and it would be pure luck if I answered the first one, which is generally real easy. I want you to know right now, though, that my ignorance is not worrying me one bit. Actually, I'm mighty thankful I don't know when they had the War of Roses or how many men Napoleon had in the Battle of Waterloo. It must be awful to have your mind all cluttered up with a lot of stuff like that. If I need to know something all of a sudden, I have some books I can look it up in and if I can't find it, I know a fellow who has a lot more books than I have and I can get him to look it up. It must be nice to know all about everything, but just between us, I always figured some of the real brilliant contestants are sort of crack-pots and I'm, afraid if I developed into a mental genius on that show some of my friends might get the same idea about me. I have a little trouble in that respect already. All We Need To Know Most everybody has all the knowledge they need. They know enough to get to town and they know enough mathematics to tell they don't know much after tax deductions. They know especially in the South, that Ulysses S. Grant wasn't a Confederate General. They know enough about popular music to know it isn't music.
We are all authorities on one thing or another, but that quiz show doesn't list many of them. If ever I should get on the show and they let me pick Hal's Lake I sure would have made it. I reckon I know as much about Hal's Lake as any man alive today. I know every bream bed in it and the most likely spots to pick up a catfish on a catalpa worm. I must know fifteen ways to get there.
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