RSS Feed
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Ramblin' Roses and Flyin' Bricks
Dear Mr. President: Every time I pick up a paper I see where the Chamber of Commerce in some place or another has invited you to spend a few weeks in their city in order that you might recover from your cough. They may brag about their wonderful city, dry climate and try to make you think that the minute you set foot there you'll be a well man. We don't have a Chamber of Commerce here in our town, but our newspaper kind of serves the same purpose. In fact, the boys down at the post office always put mail addressed to the Chamber of Commerce in our box. It saves them the trouble of sending the mail back to the sender and it also keeps folks away from here from knowing we don't have a Chamber. It works out mighty well. The mail is generally a pamphlet from some manufacturer trying to sell our town some metal signs to go on street intersections, which we don't have enough of to fool with marking. Extends Invitations What I'm getting at, Mr. President, is the reason you haven't heard from our Chamber is due to the above mentioned facts. Actually, everybody here would like very much for you to visit our town. On account of you spending so much time in Thomasville, Georgia and making it famous, most of our mail goes there first and we would like to have this procedure changed around for once. The people in Thomasville, Georgia, never have had any mail sent to Thomasville, Alabama, first. You could fix that. Our weather is about like weather everywhere, except that we don't lie about it. Sometimes it rains for weeks and weeks and you can't get off the blacktop without bogging down to your knees in mud. When the sun finally comes out and dries it up, the wind blows dust in your eyes. Our winters are cold and disagreeable and are summers are dry and hot. When we do have an infrequent spell of pretty weather we can't enjoy it, knowing it isn't going to last long. Plenty of Recreation We can offer you plenty of recreation and you would enjoy playing with some of our local golfers, who play about the same kind of game I imagine you play. They shoot in the low 70's, but that isn't so good when you take into consideration that its only a 9- hole, 36 par course. At night we can take you fox hunting and this sport has been excellent for the past few years. In fact, it's so good right now that the foxes have started hunting us. If you don't mind getting up at 2 o'clock in the morning we can introduce you to the sport of turkey hunting. Most everybody around here goes in for it, it will kind of remind you of D-Day in Normandy. However, you might not like it, because it's a pretty tough ordeal for a well man. While your waiting for a turkey to gobble, your ears get so cold your afraid they'll fall off if you touch them and your afraid if you don't touch the your afraid the mosquitoes will eat them off. The more I think about it the more I think you'll enjoy a visit to Thomasville. You can leave all those high-powered advisors in Washington, because we have some people here who can give you all the advice you can stand. They can tell you how to run the country and you don't even have to ask them. The advice is free, and just about worth the price. As far as your cough is concerned, I doubt that our climate can cure it, but at least you'll have a lot of company. Just about everybody here has a hacking cough. At church, you can't hardly keep your mind on what the preacher is saying on account of people coughing. It's the same way every place you go. Unless your cough is real bad, you never would be noticed. We generally get over the coughs in about two weeks, so maybe Thomasville (Alabama) is our best bet.
Seriously, though, Mr. President, we hope you get well soon, regardless of where you go to rest. We need your able services powerfully bad for the next few years.
|
for larger version       |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
