Dealing with night noises
April 6, 1955 Our City Council would do well to adopt some kind of ordinance to stop unnecessary noises at night. Maybe the older a fellow gets the harder it is for him to sleep, which is all the more reason why there shouldn't be too much interference. Most everybody is either old or getting old.

Ramblin' Roses and Flyin' Bricks The late Earl Tucker

Take the automobile engineers and designers. They have worked for years and years trying to make cars with as little noise as is mechanically possible. Then along comes a noise-loving soul and invents such things as "smitties," "Hollywood Mufflers" and the popular "gutted muffler." A "smitty" makes out with a roaring noise, especially when the motor is raced. The "Hollywood Muffler" makes a roaring noise, but the roaring is supposed to have a more mellow tone. A "gutted muffler" is one with all the insides taken out and it's a real hellraiser. It's the worst type of all, and also the most popular. They work best around 2 o'clock in the morning.

When to Use Horn

Then there is the horn-jockey. Automobile horns were originally made to keep people from backing into you and to let other motorists know you wanted to pass. Nowadays they are used to: (1) Let your date know you're ready to go so she can come on out; (2) To get curb-service at night-spots; (3) To scare pedestrians, and (4) To keep people from suffering from sleeping sickness.

Another thing that keeps me from sleeping every now and then is a gun or pistol shot late at night. The shot itself doesn't keep me awake but I can't go back to sleep for wondering who got shot. It worries me a little because of how mean I'm getting as I get older, but actually I'm always a little disappointed the next morning when I can't hear about somebody getting shot or at least shot at. I feel kind of let down after checking on the health of everybody I know who should have been shot.

Whistle Blowing

Then, after everybody gets through driving around in their roaring, blowing automobiles and the artillery quiets down, the mill whistles here in Thomasville start blowing. What I can't understand is how just two mills can find so much to blow about. The first whistle blows and the second one starts just as soon as noise from the other one dies down. They're real proud of the fine tone and they want to give it plenty of individuality. They start at 4 o'clock, which is a signal to let the wife of the worker know its time to put the coffeepot.

They blow again at 5 o'clock, which is the signal the worker to get up and eat breakfast. Then at 6 o'clock they blow again which means that the worker should start getting to work and at 7 they blow again to get me up. Of course, it's mighty good we have some mills to blow whistles, but the employees could own alarm clocks for as little as 2 cents a week which would eliminate a lot of wear and tear on the mill whistles and also on my nerves.

Dogs Join in

But people aren't alone in the night-noise making. Last Sunday a bunch of dogs - there must have been twenty - had an organization meeting in front of my house. This was followed by the outdoingest dogfight you ever heard. Brother, they went at it and hours they moved up and down the road and they barked and fought and bit and howled. Such carrying on you never heard. There were all kinds and sizes of dogs. It must have been a kind of United Nations house party because it lasted all night. They would run a while and bark and then stop and while and fight. I don't know whether they ever got their trouble straightened out or not.

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