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PR man ruins Christmas
And the public relations man proclaimed it loudly over the air and on the billboards and in the publications of the land and the message was heard by all of the people. So, in late November, they went into the shops and they purchased the things they needed for gifts and they purchased, too, all of the things they needed for the holiday feasts and they filled their deepfreezers until they were forced to sit on the lids until they could be closed. And the housewives carefully hid, in remote places of their closets, the gifts for the husbands and the husbands did likewise and they both joined in hiding the toys and trinkets that were to be spread under the tree and put in the stockings on the morn of Christmas for the enjoyment of their children. And the public relations man was pleased indeed with his accomplishments and his spirits spared high looking upon his good work, for it was only the first day of December and all shopping was done. The storekeepers were jubilant for they had already sold their merchandise and many more days remained until Christmas. Whereupon they all, with one accord, sat down and gleefully ordered more merchandise. But the customers came not back to the bartering places and the faces of the storekeepers were long and they were sorely troubled. And, as the last days of Christmas approached, they fell upon the public relations man, whose name was Mud and they beat him with sticks and rocks and abused him mightily for he had done his job too well. There was much sorrow throughout the land, for the wives had found the gifts their husbands had laid away for them and the gifts were not what they wanted. And the husbands, who were also very sneakish had found the atrocities and loud and unwanted smoking jackets and they, too, were greatly disappointed. There was a coldness existing in the households of the realm, for the wives and husbands had long since stopped speaking The children had found the places where the toys were stored, awaiting the arrival of Santa Claus, and the boxes had been opened and the toys were scattered throughout the houses and were broken beyond repair and Christmas was yet weeks away. And the people, heard not the carols and they heeded not the multitude of Santas in the stores and on the streets and the sun shone not in the day and the stars were hidden at night by the deep gloom throughout the universe. It was then that a Miracle was performed and all men were amazed and the women fell upon their knees and gave thanks, for the Spirit of Christmas descended upon the Earth and cast out the evil Mud who had brought unhappiness to the world. The hearts of all the people were filled again with good will, and joy and peace returned to the households. And the people went again, the day before Christmas, to the shops and bartering places ad they pushed and shoved and many were inured in the rush, which is as it should be on Christmas Eve. Late that night, as the stores closed, the merchants and the sales people were happy for the Star of Bethlehem shone again in the sky and beautiful music filled the air and they could hear the laughter of little children and see brightness in the eyes of the grownups.
You know something: There ain't nothing to this business of shopping early!
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