Taking Names and Keeping Score

Ihave always been one who believed that it is possible for a person to have many interests. I have even said on many occasions that being diverse in ones' life is really an asset. I think that is especially true if you fall into the category of married couples.

I have often heard that in the realm of romance the rule of thumb is that opposites attract. If you take that a step further and look at marriage, as I believe God intended it, everything begins with members of the opposite sex being united as one.

That being the case, it stands to reason that if you begin such a union with opposites there are likely to be many other differences as well. That's not to say that it's impossible for married couples to have a lot of things in common. But I, for the most part, believe the couples who share the greatest number of common interests actually acquire those commonalities through a lot of give and take and years of working hard on making a marriage work.

That certainly doesn't mean that one does all the giving while the other does all the taking. It just won't work that way. Instead, out of respect and love for one another the giving and the taking must come somewhat close to being equal. Because of the selfishness that is inherit in all of us that can be a difficult task but not an impossible one.

With all that said I think it is time for a confession. I'm afraid that throughout a large portion of my married life it was my wife who did most of the giving and I most of the taking. Being the sports fanatic that I was and then being blessed with two sons who also developed a passion for sports you might say the die was cast. And my wife, to her credit, put aside many of her interests to indulge the interests of the three boys in her life.

For more than two-thirds of our life together, other than at her job, she spent the greatest amount of her time at a ballpark, in a stadium or at some other sport's venue. Quite a sacrifice when you consider that the other opportunities she missed during that time will never come again. But I know because of her love for us it made.

Sometime back, after both of our sons were grown, educated and out on their own it occurred to me that the scales of give and take in our marriage were far from being balanced. Maybe it was the subtle hints from my mate or the sage advice from close friends or a combination of both that got my attention, I don't know, but whatever it was the light came on. I knew it was time I made an effort to balance those scales some. That's not to mislead you into believing I suddenly gave up my love for sports. Any of you who know me well know that is not the case. But I did try to be a little more considerate of my wife and her interests. It was at that point I stepped out and ordered a four play package from the Alabama Shakespeare Festival in hopes that I could do something with my wife that didn't involve sports. I must admit there was some reluctance on my part that first time but what I learned is that down deep inside of me there is a person who appreciates the arts as well. Consequently we've made the purchase of Shakespeare tickets an annual thing ever since. Shoot, I even discovered that working in the yard developing a flower garden, which is my wife's true passion, is tolerable if not enjoyable. That is if you can stay away from the insect bites and the poison ivy.

I guess the two most important things I have discovered in my attempt to even things up some are first, that I actually enjoy many more things than sports alone. Second, the more willingly I give the more willing my wife is to continue giving.

It is in that vein that my wife and I celebrated our anniversary this past weekend with a whirlwind trip that included attending a DooWop concert at the Alys Robinson Stephens Performing Arts Center in Birmingham on Saturday afternoon, a Montgomery Biscuits - Mobile BayBears' game at Riverwalk Stadium in Montgomery on Saturday night and the George Farquhar play "The Beaux Stratagem" at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival on Sunday afternoon. Throw in a little fine dining along the way and you have a pretty good substitute for wine, roses and song.

Does this mean that I will some day discover an intense love for gardening or that my wife will move dangerously close to being a sport's fanatic? Not likely! But what it does mean is somewhere in between we both will learn to appreciate and share many of the other's interests and we will enjoy spending time together anywhere.

See, there is hope for us sport's fanatics!

Until next time……..be safe!