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The holidays are not merry for everyone. I don’t care if I sound like a Grinch it is just true.
Typically, most of us have fond memories of holidays past, celebrating with family. But as you grow older, you lose people along the way.
If you are blessed to have all of your family with you during these holiday celebrations make sure to treasure these holiday times, make memories, take photos and evenrecord it!
Because our days are not guaranteed and once someone is gone, something about the holiday season is incredibly depressing and sad.
I lost my father Dec. 1, 2017 and the holidays for me are still difficult. I loved my Dad, he was the best and I miss him but I am happy he left me with so many wonderful memories of happy times. I have boxes of family photos, notes, and some old school VHS recordings of happy childhood memories.
The first few holidays after the loss of someone close to you can be especially difficult. Even after you have grieved and time has passed the holidays are just not as good as they once were. It is hard especially when so many are just filled with joy for the holidays when you don’t feel the same joy you once did about celebrating them.
We all grieve in different ways and you should only participate in what feels right for you, even if it means saying no to what doesn’t feel right to you.
It is important to acknowledge how you are feeling and remember it is okay to feel both negative and positive emotions during the holidays, this is perfectly normal.
Also, when someone in a family passes this also means that there is often less help in preparation, so if you feel up to it, offer a hand to other family members who may also be struggling with difficult emotions around the holidays.
It can help also to keep old traditions that honor and celebrate the people who are no longer with us. Creating new traditions can also be helpful, new memories do not erase the old ones.
Your loved ones would want you to celebrate and not be sad.
Things that can also be helpful is to identify what coping skills you will use when you feel grief creeping in; some good examples would be taking a walk, meditating, journaling, etc.
If you are struggling with grief seek help from family, friends, coworkers or a professional if needed.
Brittney Winters is a native of Thomasville and the Typesetter at the Thomasville Times Newspaper.
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